Chapter 2 - Talking about it all
"Mum, have you ever had any strange dreams?" I sat down on the sofa next to my mum, the sun shining through the windows. I must have been around seven or eight. I needed to know what the dreams were and I asked the only person who I thought might be able to help.
"Well.. sometimes." My mother answered tentatively, "I usually dream that your Nan Beaman is pregnant when someone in the family is going to have a baby"
"Oh, that's interesting, so do you know who is having the baby, or anything like that?" I asked, my interest piqued.
"Usually not, only that my mum, your nan is pregnant, why do you ask?"
I began to feel quite uncomfortable and wasn't sure how to approach my disclosure.
"Only I've had a dream that keeps repeating itself, "I began, my stomach tied in knots as I spoke, "its really weird mum and its making me scared to go to sleep"
"Its only a nightmare, don't worry, you'll be OK. When I get those dreams I get strange feelings sometimes too, like something has happened before and I can't stop it." She assured.
My guard was dropping, I began to feel like I could open up.
"Yeah, but I see things, people in my room and they take me places."
Abruptly my mum called the matter to a close, "Its nothing. Just a dream. Promise me you won't talk to your dad about it, he gets angry about things like this, we shouldn't talk about it any more."
Stifled, I began to feel the sense of uneasiness draw across me once more. I then realised that I couldn't talk to my mum about my experiences. But what was I to do? Who could I talk to? My friends at school would just laugh. I was being bullied anyway so really didn't want to have more reason for people to deride me. I decided from that day that if I was going to find out about the dreams and experiences I was going to have to do it the hard way. On my own.